I missed last week’s Friday Fictioneers so was looking forward to taking part again. I have written this on my lunch break at work so if it’s a little round round the edges then that’s why. I actually managed to keep it down to 99 words this time. Happy for feedback/critiques if you’re willing to give them.
Here is Madison Woods 100 word challenge if you want to take part.
Step by Step
With each tentative step, Liz felt the back of her heels sting. She perched on a rock and removed one walking boot at a time, carefully inspecting the offending blisters. Liz had already hiked twenty five miles but her feet looked as though another step would finish them off. She adjusted the heavy bag weighing down on her shoulders, wincing as the straps cut into her collar bone.
“Ten miles to go” she whispered, trying not to cry as she examined the steep forest path.
“Come on Liz, you beat the big C. This is a piece of cake.”
oh I feel her…but the satisfaction she would feel at the end…
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneers-do-not-follow-me-home/
There is nothing like the feeling of completing a gruelling trek! Thanks for commenting
That’s quite the trek! Where is she going, I wonder.
I’m not sure. I saw it just being a long path… possibly with a pub at the end of it. Think Liz deserves a pint.
Wow, Liz is one strong woman. Her determination oozes from this piece – good stuff.
Thanks for your comment on ours!
http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/expect-the-unexpected
She is indeed and I’m glad that she comes across as determined. Thank you for stopping by and commenting
You portrayed determination perfectly! And especially reading the ending, I was cheering her all the way.
–Jan
http://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/flashfriday-fictioneers-mos-shadow/
Thank you loads Jan! There is nothing like sheer will and determination to overcome adversity.
I’ve been on hikes like that! Never ever set out for a long walk in untried shoes… Well written and convincing.
My story – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneers-a-walk-in-the-woods/
Yes, I’ve been on a fair few myself (including a 10 miler last week) where you just want to give up. Always worth it in the end. Thank you for popping by
That’s along way to hike. My feet would be covered in blisters! I hope she makes it through to the end!
Mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-aA
It’s quite a trek… I kept upping the mileage for Liz, mean aren’t I?
I’ve been in this situation with a pal of mine. Her words to me were “I know that chemo and cancer are crap but my feet are killing me, can we sit down” – and we did. Much like your piece though she got back up and kept going. This is a lovely piece of writing. Well done you for doing this in your lunch hour – that is certainly dedication.
I thought of a few friends who are/have gone through a similar thing and it’s always the brave determination which keeps them going. People have so much strength and sometimes don’t realise how much until something like that happens to them.
Thank you for your kind words!
You’re most welcome – keep up the writing. I always look forward to reading what your create.
Oh my goodness, my feet blister up after just a few miles never mind the distance she’s already done. I feel for her, I really do.
Here’s mine for any others : http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneers-visiting-grannys/
I think mine last about five miles before blistering! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
She’s a fighter, and you got that across perfectly. Nicely done.
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/given-a-choice-friday-fictioneers-june-2012/
Thank you very much Sandra!
So courageous. Mine is here and linked too: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/fridayfictioneers-sacrilege/
She is braver than I. Thanks for stopping by
Well done–I feel the pain and admire the determination!
Thanks for commenting on mine.
Thank you very much
Wow. Well done. Speaks to her strength of will and character. I loved it!
Here’s mine: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/06/15/friday-fictioneers-6152012-the-watcher/
Thank you loads and really glad that you liked it
Good for her. Having seen what fighting the big C can be like, I can appreciate her tenaciousness, even if I am a big wimp about blisters.
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/breadcrumbs/
It’s such a tough battle and requires so much bravery and determination. Admire anyone who is unfortunate enough to have to go through it. I’m pretty wimpy about blisters too! They’re horrible!
She’s focused and isn’t giving up. You’ve painted a moving portrait of courage and determination.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-by
Wow thank you so much
Step by step: such is the walk of life.
Mine’s here: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/15/six-oclock/
Indeed it is, thank you for stopping by
what’s in the bag?
http://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/fridayfictioneers-615-via-madison-woods/
I don’t know. Food, water, kendal mint cake…
I want to know what’s ten miles away. I felt the blisters and the determination. good job.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/mothers-gift.html
I’m hoping it’s a pub, or a tea room. Thank you loads for popping by
I am rooting for Liz!
And me! Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Always appreciated
Why is she doing this? Where is she going? Why is she carrying a heavy bag? So many questions! Mine’s here: http://marilynkaydennis.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-witch
I guess sometimes you just need to challenge yourself, whatever the reasons. Hope you liked it and thank you for stopping by
Admire her. She’s resilient. Wonder why she is wearing boots on such a long trek? If the path is not too rocky…maybe she can go barefoot the rest of the way. Here’s mine: http://www.triplemoonstar.blotspot.com
She is indeed and glad you admire her. As for walking boots… I made the mistake of hiking last week without them, swapping them for trainers and nearly did my tendons and ankles in. I didn’t want to do it to her. Maybe barefoot is the way to go!
I hope there’s a bacon double cheese burger and a pint at the end of that hump.
http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/flash-fiction-friday-letting-go/